Treading Water

Updated: Apr 6

Welcome to Leviathan Cove's blog, created for those who want to embrace their bodies beyond the physical realm, elevate all levels of their mind and enrich their souls from within. This is a place where you can raise your consciousness, feel supported and begin or continue rewilding yourself to this beautiful wholesome home we call Mama Earth.

Here you will find journal prompts to aid you in your inner growth, recipes to fuel your body and the real raw reels of behind the real Leviathan's Cove. It's time to within, so you no longer have to go without.

Are you ready to seek what is seeking you? Step inside this spiritual playground.

- Ashley; Energy Mentor + Plant Medicine Practitioner

I felt comfortable, but I knew I wasn’t safe. You know the kind of “comfortable” that sets in when you least expect it and before you know it, you fear what comes “next”? I had options, others sometimes don’t. But when you’re in deep, you feel like you’re under water. Constantly treading, hoping for either your final breath to slip away from you as you see the surface fade away and the water fully consume you or that a miracle performs itself and this was all just some kind of act in a movie. The hand you desperately seek doesn't reach to pull you out. Nothing came, but the treading of the water continued.

He was tall, made you belly laugh and charmed the pants off you. He embodied Prince Charming. I knew him for 17 years; we grew up together, going to the same high school. Prince Charming was friends with my older sister. He easily came off as appealing coming from a different country on Visa with the rest of his family. Prince Charming was 4 years older, but that just added to the charm.

When we started dating we would meet up together, the gifts came in like a flood. We would have 4 hour phone calls talking about when we were each little kids and what our lives were like. Honestly, I was never treated like this. All the affection and appreciation, it what's what most people dream of in relationships. We longed to be together forever.

But forever couldn’t have ended soon enough.

The time you think you notice things change, you’re already too far in. The drinking slowly increased; at first he would just have it on weekends or use a tiny amount to help with stomach issues. I grew up trying to solve things with a holistic approach, not thinking anything different to have a shot of alcohol to stop a bit of stomach pain. I wasn’t young and naïve, but the signs of an alcoholic weren’t something really talked about in my family. The bills started to pile up; at first it wasn’t anything major, I had some savings. He would ask for small gifts here and there. Who doesn’t like to spoil their partner? The gifts eventually got bigger and the savings account no longer existed. (He literally took our 7 month old’s savings, closed the savings account and lied about it). At one point I had no access to funds, I had a vehicle in my name I didn’t want, but he insisted on. The lies began pouring in.