Updated: 18 hours ago
*warning* Mention of several areas of abuse, including physical, gaslighting and substance abuse*
It seems too good to be true because it is. Narcissism is a personality disorder; Narcissists are wired completely different in the human brain than the rest of the population, but especially of those who are Empaths (and Highly Sensitive People). *Note* The development of the Narcissist Brain in the photo above. Narcissists thrive off of admiration, self obsession, traumatic relationships and are incapable of empathy towards others. They will do whatever it takes to reach their end goal.
Empaths are naturally attracted to those who we think we can help or need some kind of saving, and narcissists are quite aware of this. They will do absolutely nothing for you, except take all your energy and drain you until you have nothing left.
My journey with a narcissist started at a young age. I met my ex husband when I was just 11 years old. There was an age gap, but he grew to be close friends with my older sister and in turn, we remained close throughout the years. It wasn't until my early twenties after my grandmother had passed away that I showed a romantic interest in my ex husband and we hit it off right away. He believed in all that I did, we became the power couple who was always up for both small and big adventures and he was a super smooth talker. Being a super smooth talker is one the top qualities of narcissists. They know how to fuel your fire, so that it shines so brightly, but without notice, they will snuff your fire on you even quicker.
My then husband at the time convinced me to move to the States from Canada after being together for a while. We got engaged and everything seemed to be going seemingly well. I felt like I was under some sort of illusion because the things that should have been in plain sight weren't. My ex husband couldn't keep a job, he became an alcoholic, a drug abuser, a physical, mental and emotional abuser overnight. I felt as though I was so far down this rabbit hole, that leaving and divorce wasn't an option. At first he would make all the promises come true and at one point he had me convinced he was doing so well we could and did have a child together. Unfortunately the vodka bottles started showing up in the toilet tank, under the couch, in the gardening tools. Pictures started getting ripped off the wall to be thrown at the floor, bicycles ended up thrown into a partly frozen lake and my Grandma Mother's Ashes got cleared off my dresser in one swipe with