Coming Home

I dreamt of a day I would soon fit in, At first, it didn't come, Instead, I felt like the kid who was always the last to be picked for the soccer team who they felt sorry for but just couldn't bring themselves to choose me. In grade two, I was young and impressionable. My curiosity and leadership qualities often meant I stood out and gained a reputation with the boys in my classes. The kind of reputation that got me detention for flashing rude symbols to my classmates, always talking because my mind would go a mile a minute, and I just plain couldn't concentrate. Sensory overload was calling me and we quickly became best friends.

Back then, I was told I talk too much and I put up a tough front, when in reality I was highly sensitive and considered stupid.

Grade two was the first time I remember being intentionally separated from my classmates because I learned differently and instead of embracing it, they segregated me to a classroom that was different from my usual one. The teachers and the school board isolated me from my friends, gave me longer times to do tests, and rewarded me with treats when I picked up on something quickly or didn't exhibit bad behaviours.

In a school setting, they are abrupt to label students with learning disabilities. They have no problem making the student stand out when, in reality, they're dying to fit in. I had multiple learning disabilities that held me back in almost every part of my life. They shattered my hopes of amounting to anything. Often, my peers would tell me how stupid I was and I believed them.

Flashbacks of hearing voices in my head, seeing colours surrounding objects and people, and hyper-focusing on the unusual sensation of the tiny little bumps that appear on my skin to alert me to someone else's feelings were my new norm.

Those aren't conversation starters in a school setting especially at the age of 8. You don't just fiercely raise your hand in the middle of a class so your teacher can hear you talk about the upset stomach your classmate beside you has without that classmate making an audible sound or wince in pain. Instead, you spend years hunkering down to try and fit in. You try to fit in your whole life until you no longer can.

I didn't realize my dad was an empath because the term wasn't something that was utilized in his generation. However, he continues to fine tune most of his natural abilities that I have come to know. Empaths aren't always generational, some develop in the womb, while others take on their gifts at an early age and some may not even know until they are adults. Not everyone knows how to take advantage of their gifts and my mission is to not only instruct Empaths on knowing what they are and owning their gifts, but supporting them in redefining the definition of what it is to be an empowered Empath.

An Empath is someone who has a brain wired differently. Empath's neurological system is highly reactive compared to others. We cannot control or block out stimulations the way non-empaths can. We absorb emotional, mental and (depending on the Empath), physical states of someone else. Unlike the majority of the population, we feel first, then think, instead of the other way around. We were not given a barrier to separate ourselves and the energetics of the world. In similarity to the Highly sensitive person, all our senses are increased. Empaths also do take more time to settle down after their day and we tend to avoid large crowds.

If you're still unsure if you fall under the definition of an Empath I included a self assessment you can take yourself. Simply answer yes or no to each of the following questions.

1. Does my mood tend to fluctuate when out in public and around others?

2. Do I like small groups or 1:1 interactions versus large gatherings?

3. Do I need to need to be alone to recharge after socializing with certain people?

4. Do people often turn to you for advice, including strangers?

5. Do loud noises, non-stop talkers and odors bother me?

6. Do you avoid the news or politics because you find they make you easily upset or angry?

7. Have you been told often you have enough love to share with more than one person or you have an immeasurable amount of love for animals and pets? 8. Do you find intimate relationships challenging to maintain for long periods of time? 9. Do you feel as though you have a built in lie detector despite people trying to deceive you? 10. Do you prefer to do one task at a time instead of multiple?

11. Do you tend to take your own car places so you can leave whenever you choose? 12. Do you have a nurturing instinct about you and always try to find the good in others even if it means, at times, you sacrifice your own wellbeing?

13. Do you care, no matter how hard you try not to?

14. Is screaming or yelling something you cannot handle?

15. Have you been told you're too sensitive or introverted?

16. Do you have a difficult time establishing boundaries and sticking to them?

17. Do you have a huge drive and passion to make the world a better place even though you are only one person?

18. Do you feel as though you struggle to fit in?

19. Are food, gambling, drinking or drugs something you turn to when you get upset or angry?

20. Have you been diagnosed with several allergies?

If you answered yes to 1-5 questions, you can be considered a partial empath.

If you answered yes to 6-10 questions, you have some Empath tendencies,

If you answered yes to 11-15 empath questions, you have strong Empath tendencies.

If you answered yes to more than 15 questions, you are fully an Empath.

Determining your Empath tendencies is an asset in understanding how to use your gifts, aids in the support of others and develops tools to live your most authentic life possible.

As always love, light and dark,

Ashley xo